Just a Girl
by BrownEyedDevil
Summary: Songfic. Rogue finally blows a fuse. Set around the time after X1. Hints at Rogan, rated T to be safe, some coarse language.


_Seriously? I sang this song about a gazillion times and nothing ever happened. Then, the other day, I sat in my car and they played it on the radio and I found myself thinking of little story started to unfold in my head, don't you love when that happens?_

_Anyway, **this contains a little bit of language, so consider yourself warned.**_

**_I do not own Marvel, the X-Men or any other character. Which is sad._**

**_No money is made with this, which is also sad._**

**_This is a piece of fiction and has never officially happened. Which is also really sad._**

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_Take this pink ribbon off my eyes  
I'm exposed  
And it's no big surprise _

She hates this. Everyone here treating her like she is a frail little porcelain Barbie. Too weak, too dumb, too everything to control her powers. Don't burden that little girl with anything, she's not ready yet. Be it missions, be it love, be it freaking classroom duty. They don't even let her do that. What they really like though is discussing her it seems. Like Jean telling Logan she has feelings for him. Something she has heard of through others. Apparently nobody thought about the fact that this is a school full of mutants. One of them being able to turn invisible, who is also the biggest gossip in history of the female gender. And who happened to spy on the two of them just as that particular topic had come up.

So instead of juicy news about Jean possibly cheating on her soon to be husband and all around awesome guy and team leader Scott Summers, that girl had returned with that. Spreading it all over the school. So on top of knowing Logan doesn't return her feelings-something she has always known but him saying it made things worse-everybody knows about it, too.

_Don't you think I know  
Exactly where I stand  
This world is forcing me  
To hold your hand _

And now this. Not only is she for now excluded from the danger room sessions her class is taking-because she isn't able to control her powers and is too unskilled for hand to hand combat and too weak and not in control of her powers putting everyone at risk, again-no. They had to step it up a bit, add to the humiliation of being the only freaking student of her class who did not get a chance at training to be an X-Men.

No.

They put her with a goody two shoes kind of guy. To study. Wink wink. How sad is that, her teachers trying to set her up?

_'Cause I'm just a girl, little 'ol me  
Don't let me out of your sight  
I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite  
So don't let me have any rights _

_Oh...I've had it up to here!_

Rogue fumes as she stares into her book she has to finish for philosophy. She isn't allowed to do anything because all her teachers think she couldn't handle it. And that isn't even the worst. There is still him. He is even worse. He behaves like a mother hen sometimes, in his grumpy way.

She tells herself for the millionth time since her mutation has surfaced and she has landed at the mansion that she wouldn't take it any longer. This time she just might have had enough to actually pull through.

_The moment that I step outside  
So many reasons  
For me to run and hide_

She leaves her room the next morning and immediately finds herself surrounded by fellow students on their way to breakfast.

But they all keep a distance. Not enough to be too obvious, but they all make sure they don't come too close. She snorts. There she is, one step away from hiding all her skin by wearing a ski mask, making sure every morning every inch of skin is covered by at least two layers of fabric and they? They still don't like to draw near her. Who knows what the freak girl might do, right.

For the first time since she almost killed the first-and only-boy she ever kissed she doesn't drown in sadness. She doesn't pity herself.

She is downright pissed.

_I can't do the little things I hold so dear  
'Cause it's all those little things  
That I fear _

All her young life she had been sheltered, cared for, loved by her parents, her family, her friends. She had loved to hug, to touch people. Her father had kissed her on the forehead as part of a daily ritual she had cherished since she was a toddler, though he kept saying she was getting too old for that.

You're never too old to be loved, to receive some comfort.

Unless you are a mutant with skin that sucks the life out of everyone you touch. In that case, age doesn't matter.

The only person who has touched her after that was that stupid, hairy mother hen. He has done it on his own. To save her life. He has exposed himself to the excruciating pain and almost certain death to save her. She can still feel the warmth of his skin against hers, not to mention hear his voice in her head but that is another story.

And by that, he has transformed that crush she had had on him ever since seeing him fight shirtless in that rathole of a town in Canada. And what a sight he'd been. Anyway, by sacrificing that, by just touching her, he has taken her feelings and catapulted them to a whole new level.

She really hates him for that.

_'Cause I'm just a girl I'd rather not be  
'Cause they won't let me drive  
Late at night _

They really need to stop trying to shelter her from everything. She doesn't need to be rolled in bubble wrap. She just wants a normal life. As normal as it can be with deadly skin.

Sometimes she just wishes she could switch with someone, be with someone else.

Sometimes she wonders how they would treat her if she were a guy.

_I'm just a girl,  
Guess I'm some kind of freak  
'Cause they all sit and stare  
With their eyes_

She enters the dining room and finds, yet again, that all eyes are on her. The poor freak among freaks, the sad little girl that can't touch anyone, that can't control her powers. And that's always so sweet and quiet and shy and so damn decent. And oh so sad. What a tragic figure.

A part of her demands her attention, sits behind locked door and demands to be let out. Oh no, by now it's not just demanding-it has chewed it's way through the door. It's only a matter of time before it gives way.

_I'm just a girl,  
Take a good look at me  
Just your typical prototype_

She finds a free table in the back corner of the room and sits down, glaring at her bowl of cereal. But she isn't alone for long. The sound of heavy boots on the wooden boards approach and she smells bacon and pancakes. And that damn maple syrup.

He doesn't say a thing, neither does she, that's how they spend their mornings, both not really fond of rising early AND making conversation. She has always enjoyed that, but not today. She is too worked up.

Last night he had advised her to attend a slumber party with her friends instead of joining a group of older students who would, accompanied by Logan and Storm, drive to the nearest town to catch a movie.

A SLUMBER PARTY.

_  
Oh...I've had it up to here!  
Oh...am I making myself clear?_

She really had enough. Of all of them. Yes, even of him.

Well, not so much of him, but she was at least angry at him, too.

She had told him, and Jean, who was hosting the stupid party, what she thought of it, but at least Jean hadn't listened to a word she said. Logan had been busy watching Jean, so he hadn't listened either, but not because he didn't respect her. More because he was controlled by hormones worse than some teenage boys.

_I'm just a girl  
I'm just a girl in the world...  
That's all that you'll let me be! _

Jean Grey approaches them, of all people. She is the one who had the idea with the slumber party thing. Girly girl stuff, painting hteir toenails, gushing about the oh so cute boys, watch some stupid movie, eat popcorn in their pink little satin ensembles they sleep in.

Well, she's Rogue, and she wears long nightgowns. Preferably dark blue or silver. And she wears gloves too, which always makes her look a little like she is ready for the next school ball.

"Hey Rogue, are you ready for some fun tonight?"

She glares at the woman in front of her for a moment, noticing how Logan looks over both of them with that impossible smirk of his. She doesn't want to know what's going on in his head right now.

"Yes, which is why I will stay in my room. Because I'm not ALLOWED to leave this place."

Jean flinches at the attitude that Rogue has made sure jumps out with every word she spits at her.

Logan coughs, he inhaled some bacon while trying his best not to laugh.

_I'm just a girl, living in captivity  
Your rule of thumb  
Makes me worry some _

"Rogue, you know it's not like that. Come join us in the common room and have some fun tonight!"

"How is it, then? I can't go out with my friends. I can't train with my fellow students, not even sparring pulling a freaking condom over my head! I'm trapped in my own body already and now y'all want to trap me in this building?"

"But..."

_I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?  
__What I've succumbed to Is making me numb_

"No BUT! It's like that. I already regret even coming here. I shouldn't have hitched a ride with that dumbass!"

"Whoa there kid!"

"Don't call me kid Logan, you know you are. Decent little girls aren't supposed to ride with strangers, I should have remembered that!"

"But you're not a proper little girl so there's no problem there."

Logan's comment throws her off for a few seconds so Jean uses that opportunity to get her two cents in. By now everyone is staring openly.

"Rogue, look. They can't look after you all night when you're out, what if something happens?"

_I'm just a girl, my apologies  
What I've become is so burdensome  
I'm just a girl, lucky me  
Twiddle-dum there's no comparison_

Rogue hates the way Jean talks to her, like a grownup talks to a stubborn child throwing a temper tantrum.

"Excuse me for being a burden to you all! I'm not a little kid, I'm not running around taking my clothes off and jumping people! All I want is a normal night out with my friends, eat some stale popcorn and drink a huge coke so I can't pay attention to half of the movie because I need to pee but don't want to go and miss anything! Is that so hard to understand?"

Jean looks at Logan, silently begging for help. Or maybe not so silently, she's a 'path. Rogue feels the need to strangle her. That's another thing, her being engaged to Scott and still doing nothing about Logan flirting with her. She should discourage him, not be all coy with fluttering eyelids and smiling and be so damn... fair skinned and tall and curvy.

But Logan doesn't help at all. He regards Rogue intently but doesn't say anything.

"No, it's not hard to understand. But you need to understand that you're putting everyone at risk and..."

"You know what? Screw you. There's a horror movie marathon on tonight, I will have my fun watching that."

With that Rogue stalks out, he breakfast forgotten, all but leaving a charred line on the wooden floors where she walked.

_Oh...I've had it up to!  
Oh...I've had it up to!!  
Oh...I've had it up to here!_

She runs to her room, angry at everyone but herself for once.

So she misses some curious things in the dining room. Things have shifted ever so slightly.

Jean is still standing in her place, positively flabbergasted as she would put it. Because Rogue has told her to screw herself. And because Logan didn't come to her rescue, didn't support her even though she knows she was right. So she turns towards him, getting ready to say something, but he beats her.

"You know, you shouldn't make such a fuss about it. We're just going out to see a movie. I won't take them to an orgy. She will be fine out there, she's much older than her years."

With that he gets up, discards his plate on the wagon for dirty dishes and walks out for a morning smoke before the first danger room session starts.

He looks over the front lawn, seeing a few students out doing a morning run without seeing them. He replays what just happened in the dining room in his head and smiles. Marie finally lived up to his expectation and promised to turn from a nice little kid to an interesting woman some day.

He is definitely up to sticking around for that.


End file.
